His Choices and Why He Wouldn't Change Them
by JxIHarkness-Jones
Summary: Just some fluff... i read some of the info on Torchwood Series 4 and it reminded me that our Sexy Welshman wasn't coming back,, sob Sooo... i wrote some Janto fluff.. ; Not very long


**Disclaimer:: ** I don't own Torchwood or any of its characters or plots. Believe me if I did there would be more Janto-ness and definitely more Owen-naked-ness. I do however, own these words so am gonna put as much smexy-ness into them as possible.

**My Choices**

_I Watch_

_I don't sleep, that's what you think. But I do. I can. I just choose not to. I choose to watch you. To watch you dream and mumble to yourself. Hoping, to some extent, like you said, that you were dreaming about me. Sometimes in Welsh, English, even Japanese at times, I only wish I could understand half of what you say when you're dreaming. I choose to watch you relax in a time and place you have complete control over, because you don't get that in Torchwood. Not ever. I choose to lay my head on your chest to hear your heartbeat, just so I know that it's still in time with mine. I watch that sweet little smile grace your expression as you dream. I choose to lie beside you, not John, not Gwen, not the Doctor, you, my beautiful Welshman, I choose to lie beside you, just so I know you're not going to leave me alone anytime soon, because I don't think i could handle that. _

_I wish_

_My life revolves around Torchwood, and I'm OK with that as long as you're by my side. I wish I could find a way to stay with you forever by our versions are forever are a little different. I watch as you move gracefully through the Hub in a methodical fashion, invisible to the others, and I choose to leave it that way, because I know that's how you like it. You do things for others, never for yourself. I wish you would. That you would do something that you alone could gain from, but you won't, because that's not you. That's not the man I'm learning to love. I wish you'd shout and scream when you're mad, or cry when you're upset. But you don't. You only let your emotions out when you're with me. I wish I could do the same. I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish I could tell you and not end up getting hurt. _

_I listen_

_I listen to the others in the Hub. The way they act towards you. The way Tosh is really quiet, the way Owen's really sarcastic and the way Gwen doesn't seem to notice. I listen to you singing in the shower, completely free of all responsibilities, and I listen to your beautiful welsh vowels as the roll off your tongue, laced with pain. I wish I could take the responsibility of Torchwood away but I think I'd break without you. I listen to you as we make live. Because that is what this is fast becoming. I listened after you comforted Tosh after Mary and Owen after Diane. And I listened to you after you told me that letting Jasmine go was my only choice and Estelle's death wasn't my fault. I listen to you because it keeps me sane. _

_I feel_

_I feel your smooth skin beneath mine, you shiver as I kiss the sensitive spots on your body, i feel it when you watch me talking to Gwen, just hoping that I'm not going to leave you. But don't worry, I don't feel for her what I do for you. I feel your smile against my akin as you nuzzle your face into my neck, your silky hair as I run my fingers through it. But most of all, I feel... Happy. I feel at peace when I'm lying next to you, I'm proud when you come out of a battle unscathed, scared when I think I'm going to lose you too soon. The pain I feel when you're hurt tells me one thing._

_I love_

_I love you Ianto Jones. I love your dreams, your selflessness, your voice, your body. I love every bit of you. I could watch you sleep forever, listen to you, Tosh, Owen and Gwen argue over what a piece of tech is until Tosh eventually hits Owen and storms off, which is when you cheer her up with exactly what she needs. Coffee. I could hold you till I die. But I won't. Because the world needs Torchwood, Torchwood needs me, and I need you. I need your cute suits, to see you glide effortlessly around the Hub, to hold me when I need it. I need you Ianto because..._

Jack's thoughts were cut off as Ianto rolled over and looked deep into his eyes, the way only the Welshman could.

"Jack, cariad, what is it?"

"Nothing Yan, go back to sleep." Ianto smiled and gently pressed a kiss to the Captain's mouth before snuggling further into his chest. Jack tightened his hold on the younger man.

"I need you Ianto because – I love you." Jack closed his eyes and rested his head on top of Ianto's.

"I love you too Jack." Jack smiled as Ianto's voice, a gentle whisper, reached his ears. He lay and held his lover, watching him sleep. He chose this, over the Doctor, over Gwen, and he was glad he did. Because he wouldn't change that for the world.


End file.
